But seriously, are the lingering questions really necessary? It's September! I haven't even decided which classes I'm dropping for the semester - better yet, I'm still on the fence regarding lunch... do I want a salad? Or maybe a burger? But I can't get to the gym today, so leafy greens and a protein would be best, and just when you think you've got yourself committed to a panini - bam - there it is:
"so your graduating... what are your plans?".
Then the interviewer always does a pause with raised eyebrows expecting to be hit clockwise across the face with an epiphany; "well, not to brag but - Sarah Palin called and the VP thing isn't really for her, and well it's really that she misses saying "whats good" to Putin from her backyard, and I have a concentration in Political Science.. so I guess what it comes down to is that we here on the mainland have a saying... come May, there is one difference between the vice presidential candidate and me... one of us will have a relevant degree."
(disclaimer: this message has not been approved by John McCain)
(disclaimer to the disclaimer: McCain will still get my vote)
All jokes aside, the people walking around with the "I have a plan" smug look on their face has got to stop. Why prey tell? Because then when I am honest and reply, "I'm on the graduate and go path and hope I get lucky plan", you know what I get? A condescending smile and a "thats okay, not everyone needs to know what they want to do."
Excuse me sir, but I know exactly what I want to do - first, I'd like to end this conversation, then I'd really like to get back to that decision on lunch; but now that you and your game of 20 questions has entered my stratosphere, the chance of my enjoying thats been shot to hell - so how about that corkscrew?
It's really the faux-planners that are the catalyst of all this nonsense to begin with, and we all know one of them. Boat shoes at 12, comb over at 16, the only purchasers of Donald Trump's "Your Fired" which ironically foreshadows their future. It is they who are to blame - or is it the idiots who buy into their bullshit? Like today, in the School of Management study lounge, I ran into an old professor and an over-acheiver I had taken said professors class with freshman year.
Conversations on the Starbuck's line went from, "Wow - can't believe four years have gone by" to this: (I kid you not)
Boy in knock-off Brook Brothers says pompously: "yea, well, things are going pretty well for me - moving to New York after graduation - got offers from Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and Bear Sterns...."
Well those offers all sound great - enjoy moving to New York but what the hell are you going to do there? Maybe if he would dislodge his prop piece Wall Street Journal from under his arm, he too would see my concern.
As my professor congratulated him and nodded, it hit me - I've been waiting to properly quote SpaceBalls and finally my time had come -
Then the interviewer always does a pause with raised eyebrows expecting to be hit clockwise across the face with an epiphany; "well, not to brag but - Sarah Palin called and the VP thing isn't really for her, and well it's really that she misses saying "whats good" to Putin from her backyard, and I have a concentration in Political Science.. so I guess what it comes down to is that we here on the mainland have a saying... come May, there is one difference between the vice presidential candidate and me... one of us will have a relevant degree."
(disclaimer: this message has not been approved by John McCain)
(disclaimer to the disclaimer: McCain will still get my vote)
All jokes aside, the people walking around with the "I have a plan" smug look on their face has got to stop. Why prey tell? Because then when I am honest and reply, "I'm on the graduate and go path and hope I get lucky plan", you know what I get? A condescending smile and a "thats okay, not everyone needs to know what they want to do."
Excuse me sir, but I know exactly what I want to do - first, I'd like to end this conversation, then I'd really like to get back to that decision on lunch; but now that you and your game of 20 questions has entered my stratosphere, the chance of my enjoying thats been shot to hell - so how about that corkscrew?
It's really the faux-planners that are the catalyst of all this nonsense to begin with, and we all know one of them. Boat shoes at 12, comb over at 16, the only purchasers of Donald Trump's "Your Fired" which ironically foreshadows their future. It is they who are to blame - or is it the idiots who buy into their bullshit? Like today, in the School of Management study lounge, I ran into an old professor and an over-acheiver I had taken said professors class with freshman year.
Conversations on the Starbuck's line went from, "Wow - can't believe four years have gone by" to this: (I kid you not)
Boy in knock-off Brook Brothers says pompously: "yea, well, things are going pretty well for me - moving to New York after graduation - got offers from Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and Bear Sterns...."
Well those offers all sound great - enjoy moving to New York but what the hell are you going to do there? Maybe if he would dislodge his prop piece Wall Street Journal from under his arm, he too would see my concern.
As my professor congratulated him and nodded, it hit me - I've been waiting to properly quote SpaceBalls and finally my time had come -
"I am surrounded by assholes".
3 comments:
youre voting for mccain?
i've always been voting for mccain, and you've also always known that.
Erica, you are soooo right with this.
When I was graduating I was also wondering what these people who got it "figured out" will actually do :)
You remember our No Comments project - yeah that was more like - Fuck the plans - let's create and do whatever feels right.
Yeah we blew ton of cash, but we got sick experience and non of us even applied to Lehman Brothers (thanks god - even though I could and had friends there) etc.
Now all of us ended up being very successful - I'm in IT sales rocking the media world and making Turner/CNN begging me for discounts because they can't raise money in the market but desperately need what I have. Clay has his own secret project in NYC (again - fuck school majors - he does what he feels right) - Dan is a big shot at a top consulting firm - perfect fit.
Again - nobody planned any of this during our senior year and it worked out just perfectly.
F*ck the assholes that are surrounding us :)
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