Monday

Why I Haven't Returned Your Text Until the Next Morning


'Jetlag' is falling asleep at nine pm, to wake up at 5am, only continuing the cycle of being tired the next night again, by 9. Also, around said social dinner time, when people ask you why you are so tired and cannot possibly meet for a drink, 'Jetlag' provides you something to brag about*

This is not the case for all however. Some who prescribe to the notion "the early bird catches the worm", or in NYC's case "the early bird gets the last available spin bike", see jetlag as a desired state, an opportunity to get a head start on the day,… early to bed, early to rise, early to rise…  first to accomplish. 

I have been severely 'jet lagged' or just in a more productive persons sleep cycle for 7 straight days now. After being 8 hours ahead in the UAE for 2 weeks [*there it is], I landed in Newark Sunday January 6th,… today is Monday January 14th. Its 6:48am. I've been youtub-ing Ricky Gervais' Golden Globe opening monologues 2010-2012 for at least an hour.

If you've ever said "I wish there were more hours in the day" - as someone who regularly wakes up at 10am, and is now up around 5:30,.. I've found about 5 of them. While some would see this as a jumping off point to greet the world at sunrise, with a book under their belt, ready for the day…   I was not made for mornings.


Things I've Missed:

- Midnight for the last week.
- Work Out Session with friend Rebecca, start time: 730pm - those were supposed to happen daily.
- Favorite Dance Class, start time: 8:30pm
- Hurricane Sandy benefit show, on which I was scheduled to perform, start time: 11pm
- Good guy friends birthday at GoldBar, where I'm sure I would have met my soul mate, start time: 10pm
- Texting anyone back passed 10pm.
- Friends I haven't seen since 2012, one of which who came in from Connecticut, who were waiting at the Sullivan Room with a bottle in tow who I texted in order, "I'm coming!"…. "Okay…  getting a move on"… "Yea… I'm not coming". Start time: 11:30pm
- Showtime's free preview weekend aka Homeland
- Two other random peoples birthday parties, again soulmate-dom probably would have commenced, start time: no idea, because I was already sleeping with the phone off  and got the texts the following morning. 
- My brothers farewell dinner back to college… 
- The Golden Globes

Things I've Accomplished: 

- Had a great show at Freddies Bar, that I almost missed, which kept me out to 2am, but did not reset my sleep schedule
- Watched "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia" season 1 - 7 on Netflix [5am-9am activity]
- Discovered Amazon's Instant Play [it's brilliant answer to iTunes]; purchased and watched the current season [8] of 'Always Sunny' [Same time as above]
- Unpacked… it took a week. 
- Been at the gym 9am, shocked at how many other people are there…  [last time I was in the gym that early, Bush was in office]  
- Met the real life version of Ben Stillers character in 'Dodgeball'... he teaches the Thursday 9am spin class at the SoHo equinox. The look. The voice. The vernacular... 


- Watched the new Netflix season of "How I Met Your Mother" [when I finished Always Sunny…]
- Sent a slew of apology texts
- HULU'ed the recap of the Golden Globes
- YouTube-ed Golden Globes of years passed, when Ricky Gervais turned them into Hollywood Roasts. 
- Became sort of turned on by Ricky Gervais. [Is that an accomplishment?]


How many times I've had to rewash my duvet because I've fallen asleep between dry cycles and I wake up to find it smelling of mold: 4 [not including this morning]

At what point I will just go to Bed Bath And Beyond and buy a new down comforter: Tomorrow, Tuesday the 15th. Does Bed Bath open at 6am?