Amy and I met while working together at Tia's Bar and Grill, a job I took in college to meet men as it was 'the' Boston after work place during the summer. Little did I know however, Tia's uniform consisted of flat sneakers, white shorts and a blue crewneck Tia's sweatshirt. All of this information I would have known if I had not called, but actually gone to the place to apply and put in the effort of wanting the job, any job, over Junior year summer. Basically take a Cheesecake Factory waiter, put them in even less flattering shorts... and then let them bake out in the heat. Needless to say, I did meet men, many men, who after I showed them to their table said "wow that guy has really big boobs."
Within a week I changed the uniform, wore wedged heeled sneakers and white skirts you had to squint to see and got a date with the guy from the Spanx story. I was ultimately pulled aside and told I "beat too much to my own drum".. I said "Thank You" and on my proud walk back to the hostess stand was told more flatly, "No,... that means your fired".
Amy since has moved on and up. My good friend is now a new blogger, as the world clearly needed yet another self-entitled schmuck like me.
Amy Diaz just posted an article compiling her Fortune Cookie Fortunes, and then explained them as they resonated with her at the time of her eating chinese food. Clearly, she is a very deep girl. Like horoscopes, or the Democratic party, cookie fortunes too are loose idea's that can resonate within almost anyone, and as such, I took her fortunes and applied them to me in hopes of gaining personal insight and sharing her blog, 'Just A Thought', with you.
Read A Novel - and Learn More About Life: Amy was in the process of reading the Twilight Saga when she got this one. Clearly she learned that men who glitter and won't sleep with you, are gay.
As a Cure for Worry, Work is Better Than Whiskey: Or,.. As A Cure For Worry, White Wine is Better Than Work.
You Are A Source Of Wisdom and Strength To Many People: They don't call it Wasser Wisdom for nothing! So a source of Wisdom,.. ahem, this blog is living proof. A source of strength however? Mom, how many times do I have to tell you! I am not a lesbian!
A Man Who Trims Himself to Suit Everybody Will Soon Whittle Himself Away: MEN... disregard this please... keep trimming. Lonely is the man sporting himself a lawn. [and no that line did not come out of a cookie].
You Are Never Selfish With Your Advice or Your Help: [see fortune above]
Romance Awaits You: This one is true! I have 42 messages waiting on JDate between the age brackets of 21-23 and 45-70. Some are lounging on futons. One is a midget.
It's One Of Those Low-Key Days That You'd Rather Spend Just Chilling: This isn't a fortune so much as it is statement of the present, however, as Amy says, how often are you eating Chinese food when you're not chilling?
Enthusiasm Can Change The Current Situation: At first reading I thought it said 'Euthanasia Can Change The Current Situation' which while accurate... you have to wonder where this bitch is eating her Chinese food. Upon proper reading though, I feel like this one is given out only when the food is horrific. You get the check, the cookie, this message and can say "This meal was truly terrible... but you know what can change that? My attitude."
You Were Born with a "Sixth Sense" and a Superb Insight: I have been to Boca, so I can say I've seen dead people. As for insight, check out my friend's ramblings at her blog "Just A Thought".http://amyjdiaz.blogspot.com/
